Why Self Love isn’t Selfish
We have long left behind February, the month when we’re bombarded with reminders about romance, thanks to the overflowing shelves of Valentine’s gifts to the endless social media posts about couple goals, phew!
The fantastic Gemma Lea Edelman is here today to remind you that the most transformative relationship in your life isn’t with someone else, but it’s the one you have with yourself.
Yes, really.
So, let’s put away the faux roses and the need for external validation, and let Gemma’s words do the talking.
Whether you’re single, happily coupled, or somewhere in between, there is never a better time to deepen the kind of love that lasts a lifetime: self-love. This isn’t about replacing romantic love or turning away from others; it’s about creating a solid foundation of compassion, respect, and care for yourself. When you nurture this inner connection, you don’t just transform your own life, you enhance every relationship you have.
Why Self-Love is the Key to Everything
Let’s be real for a moment: how many of us treat ourselves the way we’d treat someone we love? We often hold ourselves to impossible standards, criticise our every misstep, and put everyone else’s needs above our own. Imagine if you behaved that way toward a partner or a friend, the relationship wouldn’t last long, would it? Self-love is the antidote to this cycle of self-neglect. It’s not about being self-centered; it’s about recognising your worth, prioritising your well-being, and showing yourself the kindness you so freely give to others. When you invest in this relationship, you’ll find that you have more energy, patience, and love to share with the people around you. It’s a win-win.
How to Cultivate Real Love for Yourself
If you’re ready to make 2025 the year to deepen your relationship with yourself, here are some practices to help you get started:
Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love
Ask yourself: would I say this to my best friend? If the answer is no, then stop saying it to yourself! Whether it’s self-criticism, negative comparisons, or unrealistic expectations, challenge the narrative and replace it with compassion. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you’d offer someone you care about deeply.
Schedule “Us” Time
When was the last time you spent quality time with yourself? Block out time in your calendar to do something that brings you joy, whether it’s reading a book, exploring a hobby, or taking a solo day trip. This isn’t selfish, it’s essential.
Write a Love Letter… to Yourself
Yes, it might feel a little awkward but trust me on this one and just find a time to sit down and write yourself a letter expressing gratitude and love. Highlight your strengths, celebrate your resilience, and remind yourself of everything you’ve overcome and if you keep it somewhere safe you can revisit it whenever you need a boost.
Reconnect with Your Inner Compass
Take time to reflect on your personal values and what truly matters to you. Are you living in alignment with those values?
If not, use this as an opportunity to make small changes that bring you closer to the life you want to live.
Prioritise Your Needs Without Guilt
Loving yourself means recognising and honouring your own needs. Whether that’s saying no to something that drains you or carving out time to rest, let go of the guilt and remind yourself that your well-being matters.
Forgive Yourself
We all make mistakes but holding onto guilt or regret only creates barriers to self-love. This is the time to practice forgiveness, not just for others, but for yourself. Let go of the past and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you know.
Celebrate Yourself Every Day
Who says celebrations need to be reserved for milestones? Every day, find at least one thing to celebrate about yourself. Maybe it’s your persistence, your creativity, or simply getting out of bed on a tough day. These small moments of recognition add up and help you see yourself in a more loving light.
The reality is the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. By prioritising self-love, you create a ripple effect that enhances your ability to connect with others, handle challenges, and live authentically.
Instead of focusing on the fleeting symbols of romance, invest in the one love story that will truly stand the test of time: the one you have with yourself, because when you love yourself fully and unapologetically, you’re not just changing your own life, you’re changing the world around you.
Ready to deepen your relationship with yourself?
Start your self-love journey today and take a moment to reflect on one way you can show yourself kindness this week, then do it!
Want more inspiration?
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Gemma
